6 wks Preggo and Venting

MAN ALIVE!! I feel like Crap. I so can not wait for this sickness to be over with it. I'm not ready for any of this. I don't really have a choice in the matter do I. I wish I was still In Gatlinburg taking a nap beside the fireplace. That moment felt perfect. I felt at peace with everything. I'm just not in the best of moods today. I wish there was someone that I was really close to and that gave good advice. Christian or not christian its hard to find that someone to feel close too to really have that honesty. With past friendships that turned out to be a joke Its hard for me to truly trust a person. I normally expect that with non Christians but I've also learned that even Christians can be the same way. Its extremely annoying. Do you ever find yourself around a bunch of people but at the same time feel lonely? I would love to move far away and start a life somewhere else. You have some people who call themselves Christians but allow their children to dress revealing things. I'm just sick of it. I don't ever try to act like the holy than thou person. I admit I had many flaws that I work on. See that's the thing I actually try to WORK ON THEM. Aren't older Christians supposed to be setting an example for the younger Christians and teaching them. I have yet seen that. I've even had a so called christian to block me on facebook. I've never said the first negative thing to her ever. The problem is, is that she probably don't won't other christians seeing her sinful life or wearing inappropriate things. She used to be this sweet person but now she's sour. I don't know what the deal is. Then later I realized she blocked a lot of christians. They would even have bible study's at their home but no more. I just don't get it. What is happening to some people? I am thankful for the handful of christians that I do have in my life. I feel at this time In my life I'm needing guidance and support from others but I'm not getting it. Being a christian in this pathetic world I need those things to keep me sane. How can you help people when you block them out of your lives. How pathetic to block someone on facebook. I could understand someone using foul language or something. Maybe its hormones Idk. All I know is at this moment I'm SICK OF IT. Just plain sick of it. We used to get invited to others homes for dinner. Seems like the more kids you have the more you end up staying at home. I actually had a woman to invite me over to her home for supper with other christians. She actually had the nerve to tell me that kids weren't allowed at the dinner. That it was for grow ups. Are you kidding me??? I told her then I guess it looks like we won't be there. This is my family. If you don't except my family then you won't have me that's for sure. I know she didn't mean to be rude but man that was the rudest thing anyone has ever said to me in awhile. I understand that adults like to have alone time without kids but man the way she said it was awful. Not to mention she said this last minute. Well enough venting for now. I just hope and pray that I can look past those people and grow as a christian and hope that they will get their lives straight.

I am grateful for the close christian bond I do have with some. I just wish it was with all.

First prenatal checkup

I had my first doctor appointment Monday with Dr. Murphy. I really looked forward to seeing him because he such a good doctor. I enjoyed having him as my doctor with Cason. I don't see how anyone could say otherwise. If they do its probably them I'm sure. When I got there I went on in which is surprising cause usually I have to wait. The nurse took me back and checked my weight which by the way was awesome. I actually weigh less this time around than when I got pregnant with Cason. The nurse asked me did I do a at home preg. test or did I go to the health department. I told her I took 4 tests at home. She smiled big, lol. What can I say, that's how I roll:)Everything went well. Dr. Murphy told me to eat more calories cause at the time I wasn't. I moved my calorie intake up to 300 more calories. He did an ultrasound on me which I've never had to have that early, but if he wants to do it Why not. All you could see of course at the time was the sack which was still cool to see. I go back in 4 wks to see the baby. He has a 3d ultrasound machine now which I'm very excited about. I'm looking forward to the big ultrasound to see if its a girl or boy. I'm almost sure its a boy but then again it may be a surprising baby girl. I can't believe we will be a family of 6. We seriously need to get our heads examined, lol. The nausea started today (great). Such a downfall with pregnancy. I've tried everything and nothing helps. Just gotta suck it up for several wks. Hopefully it will only be a few wks. Exhaustion has picked up drastically. I have to push myself to get up and exercise then I'm yawning during the exercise. Normally I go to bed between 11pm and 12. Now I'm struggling to keep my eyes open around 7pm. Come on second trimester :)

I'm hoping I won't be too sick when Chris and I go to Gatlinburg. We won't be gone long. We are leaving Fri. and coming back Sun. afternoon. It will be nice to get away and get some peace and quiet for a change.Oh I can't wait. Tammy and Ma will be staying at our house to watch the boys. Gonna be a good weekend. We don't plan on doing much. All I want to do is cuddle up in front of the fireplace :)

PREGNANT WITH BABY #4

Okay so I my period was late 2 days. I went to Walgreens after Church to get some groceries and picked up a test. I was sure I wasn't pregnant because I've been avoiding trying. I just wanted to get the thought out of my head and move on. Well the positive was as plain as day. Then I took the other one and it showed up quick. I decided a few months ago I was gonna wait till the end of the yr. Well it didn't end up that way. I actually cried when I saw that it was positive. I don't feel ready but I guess I better get ready. The good thing about it is my body is ready for it ,its just my mind that isn't. Anyways whether I'm ready or not God has given me this gift and it is a true blessing.

I haven't got sick yet but I'm sure Mr. sickness is peeking around the corner at me ready to pounce. So far the only signs I've had is missed period and exhaustion. Its funny how pregnancy can be so different from your other pregnancies. Would be nice for the sickness to not happen but that's just wishful thinking. I go to Dr. Murphy Monday for my 1st Checkup. I love him as my doctor. I have great intuition about people and its all good with him. I don't however like the lab work. I'm aware I don't have a sexual transmitted disease but I guess they don't. I just hate to take a test for something I know I don't have. I called to see if I had to have it and they said yes (whatever).

I'm hoping for a healthy, good and fit pregnancy. I workout 5-6 days a wk and I eat healthy 80% of the times. So as long as I stick to it I'll do good. Just gotta be careful when I get to the late 2nd and 3rd trimester because of my history of premature births. I have no idea why they come early. Even if I'm on bed rest they come. I just hope if this baby does come early that he or she is healthy just like my others. One thing good about being pregnant during the summer I can do water aerobics in my pool which is easy on the body.

This will be my last pregnancy. No I'm not getting fixed. I do however plan on taking that 5 yr. Birth Control. I know a girl who has that and its worked really well with her. I research it before I decide on that. Even if this next one is a boy NO MORE. I do want a girl but I've got used to having all boys that it really doesn't matter. I will be really surprised if they say ITS A GIRL!!!!!!!!Which by the way I would like to see Chris's face (priceless). Either way God will give me what he wants me to have and that's fine by me.


I really like this whole blogging thing. I could care less if people read it or not its a comfort thing for me to type things down. My sister Rosa used to do this and I never understood why but now I do. I'm looking forward to blogging about my pregnancy.